"Paper Champion (feat. Biff Pocaroba)"



Me and Biff react like chemical synapse
So brace your shaky foundation for a full collapse
Stutter step with my juke moves, eschewing my loose screws
I’ll take you to the point of no return like Nu Shooz
Selective memory, yeah I almost forgot
About the days when Dusty Rhodes wore polka dots
And I’m watching Dibiase, yeah I’m viewing the tapes
He’s giving Million Dollar Dreams until they’re blue in the face
And he keeps opining “Everyone’s got a price”
And he keeps on smiling but it ain’t nothing nice
And you gotta hand it to him for the way that he felt:
That if you can’t beat the champion, then you make your own belt
So yo, be warned You’ll need a tough defense
‘Cause I’m a phenom like I’m Hunter Pence
You got me in the stretch, I keep you on with a close look
They call me Paper Champion for my stacks of notebooks
So, yo look It’s not an option, you gots to go
While my career’s longer than Jesse Orosco’s
So talk slow I’m still trying to figure out
How all those small words fit in such a big mouth
So here’s how we go about the task at hand:
I expand all my glands like I’m Plastic Man
And we connect the set across the states and time zones
Creating a new order like the lines of Empire clones
Like Brian Jones, you’re a sinking stone
While I’m steady Moretti than Fabrezio

I don’t need no has-been messing in my corner
Laying out for the line drive like Bob Horner
Just like Foreigner, I’m as cold as ice
Genius of the rap game like Gary Grice
I’m very nice when I step in the booth
Other rappers bite rhymes till they chipped their tooth
They don’t spit the truth They just rap by numbers
Biff and Johnny-still cool as cucumbers
This is poodoo, like Sebulba told little Ani
Come alive in the playoffs like Fernando Pisani
Like Leaping Lanny throwing Frisbees to the crowd
A rap bounty hunter in the city in the clouds
I’ll make you say “oh no” like your name was Daz
Or when the North Star jerks poured the shake on Spaz
Or when Black Flag tried to go from punk to jazz
Or when we thought the CA stood for “Crazy Azz”
I’m a West Coast Avenger like Hawkeye
Do my own stunts like Wonderman or The Fall Guy
Don’t call me Small Fry, I’m not that teeny
But I might kill a bear with Jerry Aldini
Like Marvin Berry with gauze on my hand
Like Cameron Frye, I’m gonna take a stand
Believe me man, we’re unbeatable pros
Like Jennifer Grey before she lost her nose
To those who throw hubcaps like Tonya:
You’re a paper champion like Verne Gagne
This is how deep it can get:
It reads “Pocaroba” on my birth certificate

To make sure we got it while the getting’s good
I keep barking up dust like I’m spitting wood
I chalk it up to experience and a level head
The people talk and I hear it, I got incredible cred
And I stay well read, stacks of books on my nightstand
A devious man like Sarsgaard in Flightplan
So give me your attention ‘cause I’m saying it once
I’m sending you to school like I made you a lunch
So come on paper champion, come on Creed
We’re bringing the doom like Ron Simmons and Butch Reed
And when the masks come off, we’ll make it plain to see: 
It’s Wockenfuss and Pocaroba reppin’ CAC

My prediction for the match? Pain
Like there’s no DQ and Fuji brought his cane
Rappers want the fame, but make terrible music
And disappear faster than Big Bully Busick
I handle the mic like Mike McGuirk
Destroy oh boy like the New Bomb Turks
I might yell “One punch!” like Jordan Tootoo
Then skate away and laugh like Jarkko Ruutu
So if Wock is Stan Lane, then call me Bobby Eaton
It’s us against the world like Warren against the Cretins
So don’t call us pencil neck geeks
We let the people decide like the Iron Sheik